 
Chris: hey sport Me: Yo yo...wassup? Chris: I'm sorry, I don't speak your foriegn tongues. I don't even speak jive, holmes.....feel free to tell the stewardess that. Me: Sorry, wrong tongue. What I meant was, Hi there my great white friend, how are things in the upper middle class tonite? Chris: Still wrong tongue. I don't speak Bryant Gumbel either. Try lower middle class angry white man with sense of humor who drinks often and doesn't get laid much. Me: Ahh. My "lower middle class" is a bit rusty. I'll have to brush up on that. Chris: Here, I'll give you an example. "hey, what's up man....hold on for a minute while I go grab a beer....by the way, have you seen the new playboy? Nice....very nice....boy would I like to have some of that.....oh, and I've decided to go back to the post office and shoot all my former co-workers....it's not fair that they fired me" Me: Okay. I'll write that down. What about this, "No bitch! Get a ride!" Any better? Chris: Only if you really say it.....it can't be substituted with "ok honey, I'll pick you up ony my way to buy you flowers, I'm leaving right now" Chris: Oh, I know how that is....that's why I don't talk to my mom about how I sell gay pron on the internet.....all she does is complain. To me it's like...."hey....who cares how I get the money to pay the rent, as long as I pay it", right? Me: What exactly IS gay pron? Chris: It's like gay porn, except with some of the letters of word reversed....so where as with gay porn, the actor might scream out "fuck me in the ass", with gay pron he says "ckuf em in the sas". Chris: It's fun......gay people seem to enjoy it. Me: They seem to like everything better backwards.. Chris: Except their clothing......everything has to be straight and neat....and god forbid if colors should clash. [email protected] You can also E-mail Chris Kane at [email protected] 
 
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