Born and raised on the streets of Chinatown led SumDummGuy down the path to the dark side. Stealing hubcaps to buy teething rings caused him to be labeled as a bad seed at an early age. By the age of 5 when most children were in kindergarten learning to fingerpaint, SumDummGuy was hanging out in pool halls and Chinese laundromats learning the art of hustling. Taken in by a one eyed prostitute named FatCrackHo, he soon learned what the term "Wax on, wax off!" stood for. Shortly after mastering 9 different types of martial arts, he became the most feared kid on the streets, dealing out pain like there was no tomorrow!

Here we see SumDummGuy as an adorable little baby! Determined to get out of Chinatown and make a name for himself, he hit the road and soon was taken in by a notorious biker gang called the Hell's Angels. Being able to completely break down and rebuild a Harley by the age of 7, SumDummGuy was readily accepted into their social club as their mascot and slaveboy. Tuning up bikes, serving brews and rolling doobs for the men of the club pretty much kept him busy until he was accepted as a full fledged member of the "Club", recieving his first of many tattoos at the age of 12. The name he had tattooed on his chest: FatCrackHo, a woman he swore he'd never forget.          By the age of 18, now covered with tattoos, he set out on his own once more, living in a sleeping bag, touring the country in search of the perfect crime. At 25, having been released from Statesville for the murder and sodomization (in that order) of a Brownie Troop, he decided to settle down with the few women that seemed to tolerate him the most. In a beautiful ceremony, surrounded by his friends and the Statesville National Guard, they all pledged their undying love for each other by getting tattoos and their nipples pierced.          Roaming from job to job over the last couple of years, SumDummGuy finally found one that suited his nature. He earns extra cash by delivering groceries and Chinese take-out in rural Indiana, but he doesn't let it tarnish his reputation...In his spare time, SumDummGuy enjoys stealing wallets, vehicles and competing in small town "grocery-bagging" competitions. He also enjoys humor and creating websites, but don't tell him I told you! If you're smart , you'll stay away from this one!!!